DANZIG
This used to belong to my big brother, Jimmy, way back in the day. It's been passed down so many years ago I'm unsure on the actual date, but I'm guessing it was during my formative teenage years when an older sibling had the power to influence my every musical decision ever. And I thank him for that, because Danzig is the absolute shit and yes this poster reveals that absolute shitness.
Danzig rules. Danzig has always ruled. The band is the perfect incarnation of The Doors, Elvis Presley and bluesy metal. It's everything I love rolled into one, so yes, I'm a fanboy and I can't stop gushing over this shirtless photo of Danzig and crew. The black, shadowy atmosphere and uncomfortable bible verse about lust really make for an excellent poster moms will surely love!
And just in case they're reading: John Christ, Eerie Von and Chuck Biscuits made that band. Without them, those first four, perfectly executed albums would not exist. So kudos to you, dudes.
The Misfits
What can I say? I love The Misfits. It ain't no mystery, baby.
YES JIMMY GAVE THIS TO ME TOO
So it's an original poster, whatever "original" even means. I'm really just trying to say that it's really fucking old. When did this poster exist? I do not know. I'm guessing it was during that early 90's era when The Misfits started gathering steam from having their t-shirts worn by famous rock stars, thus introducing "Collection 2" to the world, thus introducing all sorts of cool, new merch. My historical interpretation is shoddy at best, so this probably all made up by me and that shoddy memory of which no memories exist. All I know is that it's old and wrinkly and I have it framed and I love it.
This, along with the Danzig poster, were always hanging somewhere in my brother's room, which was eventually passed down to me, and which I shall pass down to the next in line (probably my firstborn son or, preferably, a clone of myself). This poster duo has served as a sort of shrine to rock and roll, to what I should adore and worship for the rest of my life. Well, I'm sure glad the music is awesome because yeah I'm a Danzig fanatic wheeeeee
"Army of Darkness"
This one's a bit of a cheat. And of course, once again, it involves my older brother, Jimmy. It's safe to say that he shaped my weak, grossly uninformed mind for the better. If he wasn't schooling me on the infinite wisdom of Glenn Danzig and The Misfits, he was letting me in on the biggest secret of any young boy's life: disgusting, bloody horror movies. Specifically, Sam Raimi directed/Bruce Campbell featured horror movies.
I figure that this is a cheat because he once gave me an original "Army of Darkness" poster (the one with Ash in superb masculine form, with babe at foot) during his years working at a video rental store, which has since deteriorated and melted over the years (the poster and the video store) and which I've since lost and have replaced. We hung the original on every wall conceivable way too many times that it died in a papery, hole-y mess. In honor of that poster, and in honor of this being the fucking greatest film ever ("Evil Dead" and "Evil Dead 2" make the cut, too) I had to get a new one to display. To stare at. To gather strength, power and fury. This is that original poster even-though-it's-not-that-original-poster.
I love you, Sam and Bruce.
"The Empire Strikes Back"
Everyone needs a poster of "Star Wars" in their house. It's essential. Even if "Star Wars" has become some kind of sexy-cool, go-to staple to bang chicks at comic-con, it's still one of the raddest films to ever have been filmed.
I chose "Empire" because it has the best imagery, poster wise. And I guess film-wise, if you wanna get down to brass tacks. I dig them all, but there's something inherently cool about the deeply dramatic tone to the second part of this trilogy. And don't you dare fucking tell me this is actually part five blah blah fuck that
This poster is exceedingly large, too. So much purple. So much Wompa.
Freddy Krueger Looking Especially Terrifying
I have to include this because...why not? Freddy rules. Robert Englund rules. I'd be lying if I said that "Nightmare on Elm Street" was a series I actually gave a shit about, though. I think the love spawns from the idea that Freddy Krueger, with his chicken-skinned face and his demonic claws has, and still kinda does, absolutely scare the pants off of me. When I was young and this shit was in theaters, Freddy Krueger ruined my life. So many sleepless nights, so many nightmares of being chased and tortured by a dude in a striped sweater and dirty fedora. I was scared before I even saw the first film! All I saw were screenshots in magazines. All I heard was that dreadful sounding last name: krooogerrrrr. My keen ears hear something that sounds like a mash-up of crude, booger and rape. I can guarantee you that all three of those words are not fun and that is how they came up with "Krueger."
It was terrible. It haunted me. It ruined me. So, of course, I had to get a giant poster of that bastard's ugly face.
I believe I got it at a dusty, old comic book shop out here in Arizona. It's one of those places that specializes in everything, as long as you look hard enough.
Well, that's about it. Next up will be a list of my five favorite chairs, welcome mats (the list is about four welcome mats short) and ballpoint pens. But the colored ones. Like blue. And red.
Stay tuned!
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