Gummy Sushi.

Every year I check out the current season's Halloween offerings, whether it be a long stroll through Target or a quick gallup around CVS, I'm perpetually on the hunt. If I don't make the rounds, I'm well into a funk by November, knowing I might have missed out on the newest Halloween something. I own enough paper ghost cutouts, yes. My closet looks like a Spirit went and died, I understand. But it's, like, what I do.

With that being said, honestly, most of the time I'm not necessarily looking for anything in particular -- if anything catches my eye, I'm game. Something unique, bizzare and maybe even a but slimey. If I had a choice, I'd prefer my Halloween stuff to be slimey.

Within these Halloween Hunts, I'm rarely surprised nor dazzled by what's offered. Things are different to an extent, but there's only so many ways you can doll up a Jason mask.

I wish that every ten months we're granted a new wave of orange merchandise and party favors and creepy candy, but, truthfully, it's really just the same damn stuff. I wish, I want, I wander. And with gummy candy, it's no different.

(Sorry for the abrupt switch -- it was really hard to segue into gummy candy.)

You've got Coke bottle this, you have blue sharks and colorful worms that. It's all so blase. I tip my hat to "It's Alive," though, for releasing what may become my favorite Halloween gummy ever.

For today's adventure, I hit up the local Walgreen's. It's one of my favorite places to haunt during this ghoulish fall, because you don't really have to do much to get your fix. With Walgreen's, every now and again you'll find more than just green cobwebs and wall paques that yell at you. In fact, you might even find a plate of gummies in the shape of honest-to-God sushi.

I've seen these heralded and praised on the internet already, but it deserves another pedastel to sit upon. I mean, c'mon, that one in the middle really looks like friggin' salmon.

"It's Alive Diner" (I think that's what the company name is) offers a plateful of horror-themed gummy madness. Everything from spooky sandwiches to evil, chocolate sundaes, you name it. Gummy body parts have made a decent run the last couple of years, and "It's Alive Diner," thank-you-so-much, stretched the premise into new and grander territories. They got all Land of the Rising Sun on our asses.

By all means, this is some seriously fun stuff. Most of the time I'm a chocolate kinda guy, and on occasion will go for the extreme sour goods that'll make your tongue and burn, but this month I'm strictly gummy. With 4.3 ounces of gummy raw fish, I've been converted.

My favorite? Well, firstly, they all smell good. That needs to be said. Secondly, the eye looks fun. Could even pass for a slab of overpriced sushi in a fancy restaraunt. The rest of the "human body part collection" look nice, too, but I'm still stuck on that "salmon" piece. I realize now that it isn't representing salmon, because salmon, by all means, is not a body part. Now that I think wiser and squint harder, it's as if it's supposed to be "skin," which is wholly disgusting and unbelievably nauseating to even think about. I'm not sure how biting into what looks like a human fucking ear doesn't seem so bad, but chewing on pink, peeled skin is horrifying to me. They're all made of gummy so it's a moot point. Hell, I'm just really excited!

(Edit: the logical explanation, as it's been pointed out, is that it's supposed to be a tongue. Which makes, like, a lot of sense, given the shape and color. What the fuck was I thinking?)

Best part? Besides it looking near identical to the real deal (well, as close as they could make it) it even comes with chopsticks.

Yes.

This is the type of gimmick that can shoot this precious holiday from a Hallow-weiner to a Hallow-winner.

Really, this is the finest display of gummy I've seen in a long time, even rivaling that of the hulking glob of bear-shaped sugar goo I found a year back.

It was one of the first things I blogged about. I was captivated by the enormity of it all, and the transluscent, glowing behemoth ultimately played a big part to give my life over to all things gummy. The fact that it's shaped like a Teddy Graham is all the more better. Which brings us to the here and now.

The Body Parts Sushi Roll is a must have.

But lastly, I'd like to point out that since I am the one and only martial artist guitarist, I like to think of this as possible fuel and energy during my training. A go-to snack for endurance, power and undeniable rock and roll skills.

"Kung-food," if you will.

...

Ha.