Thursday, June 21, 2012

"Walking Dead" Zombie Roamer!

Me like!

Me have "The Walking Dead" Zombie Roamer.  Maybe you do, too, but me think not, because me am better than you.

Me sorry, me be rude.  Me having a bad day, and me think the only way to get past me problems is to insult not-me with bragging and taunts.  Me just cranky, tired and bloated -- me having one of those off days, you know?

So me go through my Big Pile of Forgotten Toys.  Me constantly collect a bunch of stuff, adding to this mountain of fun.  Me understand it's just an absolute eyesore in the corner of me bedroom, but me find happy times with this heap.  It's where me go to calm me nerves.  It's a smoke break, a calm pond and a summertime hammock all rolled into one.

Zombie Roamer was in my pile.

Me got this long time ago, me not sure why, though.  Me have plenty of zombie toys and figures and stuff, and this only adds to the madness and clutter.  Truth be told, me don't care about that.  Clutter?  Me can live with clutter.  Me just can't believe I spent twenty dollars on this thing.

"Head Splitting Action!"  "Removable Body Parts!"  Me no know if I should feel happy or sad that me didn't first think of a twenty dollar toy that's supposed to instantly break apart.

Him disgusting, that's for sure.  Me like the tattered vest, drippy skin and the excruciating detail in him's head cracking open.

Me open?  Or me keep in box?  It's hard to tell what me will do.  Me really want to see that head burst.  On one hand, me want to touch and feel and enjoy, but on me other hand, me really afraid me going to lose that tiny axe.  People are afraid of public speaking, people genuine mental disabilities that cripple them from the inside out.  And me just afraid of losing tiny, toy hatchet.  Figure that one out.

Other figures are cool, if only because of Rick's eighteen different shotguns and Michonne's yellow drill.  Me really like that thing.  It's so tiny and unique and yellow.  In conversation with other "The Walking Dead" enthusiasts, me certainly would bring this up, but me have no idea how to pronounce "Michonne."  Me stick with roamers and lurkers.

Me keep in box.  Me really don't want to lose that axe.

Me hate myself.


  1. Me think you say like "Mish-own"

  2. Me bought $15 Bride of Frankenstein last weekend. Me had no problem opening box to admire. Me felt instant regret when Bride's head fell the fuck off after opening. Me used drywall screw to repair, since me figured Dr. Frankenstein would have done same. Now Bride can give TWO kinds of head.

  3. Me think you're a comedian! "Two kinds of head!" Me love it!

  4. Me write new articles soon, me say to stay tuned!

  5. me am have too much clutter. me have shelf of GODZILLA and Shelf of cool lego things (x-wing, darth vader tie fighter, millenium falcon) no room on shelf for Lego Dracula Hearse. me am happy bobby have zombie toy.