Wednesday, September 26, 2012



The best part of the Internet is expressing every inconsequential, boring and trivial filler you're currently thinking about at any given time.  Opinions are expressed, views are blogged, no one gives a shit.  Like, seriously.  When was the last time you read something on the Internet that changed your life?  When was the last time you posted about anime and was sent a twenty pound box full of burnt DVDs?  OH JUST TODAY THAT HAPPENED TO ME FUCK YEAH.

Joshua Byrd sent this to the Calabrese Manor, specifically addressed to me, specifically because he knew I don't have a life.  I suppose the Internet is good for something after all!

What you're about to see is movie madness, a sonic load of the ultimate collection of wasted time.  It's everything I've ever dreamed of -- a carton the size of a nightstand packed with movies, movies, MOVIES.  All I mentioned was that I was getting deep into the seedy underworld of violent and robo-oriented anime, and to my surprise, I was given it all (and more) in the perfect Halloween/early Christmas present.  This really is the best thing to have come into my life right.  Because I like surprise boxes.  That are just for me.  Jammed with mind-rotting films and television.

Too bad this is overwhelming as fuck.

No, really.  It is.  Because look at that.  Underneath the first layer of scattered DVDs lies three more rows of neatly and tightly packed DVDs.  I gave up after the fifty mark, but it's safe to say there's at least thirty-thousand discs inside this thing.

Essentially, Joshua did what I've always wanted to do -- own every single movie ever.  Admittedly, the idea sounds outrageous,  but once you start laying out a battle plan...things start to come into focus a bit more.  The impossible now seems vaguely possible.  How?  Well, thanks to Netflix, you can have a steady stream of movies sent to your front door on a near-daily basis.  All that would be required of you is that upon the arrival of these DVDs, you were to instantly burn them to another disc, send back the DVDs as quickly as you can and do it all over again the next door.  Or whenever they arrive.  Not sure how this shit works.

BUT this is what Joshua did, and this is what I've always wanted to do!  If you were to keep it up for years...dare I say you could own a solid portion of most of the movies ever made?  Or at least movies that have been released in the US.  Or at least in one, specific genre.  Fine, you'll definitely own more movies than all of your friends combined.  And that's about it.

But hey, it's a valiant effort in over-consumption.  I love the idea, even if it's offensively idiotic.

I fully intend to watch this box full of anime.  No, that's a lie.  I fully intend to watch all the best stuff.  I already asked what were some of the highlights hidden among the rubble, which were then promptly picked out and put away until further notice.

Each one is labeled and in order, which is such a nice touch that I hate to admit that during their journey from Joshua's house to mine, they dissolved into a scattered mess of plastic and frustration.  I wouldn't have it any other way.

Thanks, Josh!


  1. You're welcome, Billy. :p Glad to see that they arrived safely, if a bit jumbled. Just hope none were broken/scratched all to hell. Fun fact: My former boss actually watched EVERY SINGLE ONE of those shows, plus a bunch more that I wasn't interested in. That's fucking hardcore.

  2. Ahh, crap! At least I got your name right in the beginning. And then changed it when I got called out. I'm an ass.

    But again, thanks, John!

  3. No worries, man. I thought it was hilarious. I showed the link to my wife (after the changes) and she was like "Jason, I don't see what's so funny."