Monday, February 24, 2014

im addicted i can't help somebody please save me



video games, man, video games.

long story short, as soon as we got back from tour i melted into a pile of bones and skin and goo in front of my television. it was disgusting, weird and morally irresponsible but i didn't and still dont care. whenever we're offered time in between tours, i really like to go balls out with the most lazy, inconsequential bullshit known to man. netflix has always reigned supreme, but only recently have I dusted off my poor and lonely ps3 have I truly descended into a brand new era of madness.

i should have never touched the fucking thing

theres this game, this really crazy game, it's called "farcry 3" and it's really crazy. Our buddy, Luke, who occasionally goes out on tour with us to sell our fancy shirts and girly underwears, is a definite video game devotee. he likes video games as much as i like hot coffee and potato salad. which is a lot. there's no time to explain the pototo salad thing JSUTS GO WITH IT

you see, he told about this game, he told me about a lot of games, he told me stories and exciting tales of other worlds and lush adventures and all this good shit.  i was hooked.  there's a whole lot of time to kill on the road so my mind wandered to these magical realms.  i remember the good days of ps and ps2 and now ps3. the days of yore and all that shit. no life but fuck it, those were some good times!
ive always been addicted to video games, if we're being honest.  only in the last few years have I truly eased off since ya know ya gotta get some tail amiright???.i've even scoffed at the idea of someone playing video games. "what a dork!"  "get a life!" i'd say from my bitchin sports car.  ya know like how right after hardcore smokers who've quit get butthurt when others smoke around them. it's pure hypocrisy. what I'm saying is that i'm a hypocrite. or wuz or something. and that i wish I could smoke a video game.  cuz i love video games again and i love it so much and i can never stop oh godd ojfjgosfjdkc

even right now i'm typing this while i adventure.  im literally on my phone and playing this fucking game.  i can feel my brain doing something weird and my body is hurts its fucking sick man. i'm ignoring all punctuation and grammar and hygenine and natrual sleep but i don't give a shit. ahhh that's not totally true. it still kind of bugs me that stuff aint capitalized and my im covered in grease oh crap SOMETHING IMPORTANT IS HAPPENING hold on a sec

OK im back waht was i saying?

ya there's this really coool video game where you get to shoot people and and hunt aniamls and skin them too if you really like. you can use shark skin and shit to make napsacks and ammo pouches and all that jazz. isn't that neat? youre like a GUY BRO who gets abducted by a group of crazy dudes after you parachute onto the wrong motherfucking island. like...your not ACTUALLY THE GUY but you're playing one, know what i mean?? you get to ride all sorts of cars and boats and shit and do some crazyass maneuvers on some dudes, like sneek up behind people and slash there throats and even theres a part where u take some drugs and start tripping like holy hell man it's fucking tiiiiiiiight

im almost near the end there's a few more things to do this is probably my favorite game i've played so far and believe me i've played a lot of games does your head hurt to? my head reallyl hurts i feel funny

yah, theres this really cool game i'm playing right now soooooooooo

so ill have to get back to you later oK?


bye ttyl


  1. Welcome to the void that will never let you go.

    Your secret decoder ring is in the mail.


  2. Check out Far Cry 3 Blood Dragon, Its Fuckin Awesome

  3. Perhaps one day you will join the PC master gaming race. Until then, PS3/4 are acceptable.