Thursday, March 3, 2011

Marvel vs. Capcom 3!

Well, it's that time again.

Every few months I go through a phase where I like to just...stop. Not necessarily meaning I'm gonna completely abandon reality, but just kick up my heels and disappear. I will eat, but only out of necessity. I will talk and communicate with others, but behind these dead, glassy eyes there's pure, black nothingness. I won't answer a single phone call, the sacred, wonderful and best-friend-internet is fully deserted and avoiding what's outside my apartment door becomes perfectly natural and sane.


Yeah. Videogames, man.

I fell into the trap, I bought Marvel vs. Capcom 3.

Let me just start off by saying that Marvel vs. Capcom is one of those games that I'm dying to wanna like. Everything works for me -- characters from the Marvel Universe mixed with characters in the world of Capcom (the usual suspects are adequately represented) coming together to offer up a face full of fists. The hyper-intense speed and graphics make it enjoyable to anyone who can paw at four buttons and a D-pad, and the pure value lies directly in beating the tar out of your friends and soon to be enemies. Shameless victory dances and hurtful gloating are encouraged, but not essential. Celebrate at your own risk.

Everything sounds good, right? Yeah, I guess so, since I spent sixy bucks on this bitch. But I figure my problem lies in the fighting game genre. Which, ya know, totally fucking sucks.

Okay, in all fairness, fighting games can be awesome. I just mentioned that the pure gold is a night of drunken, multiplayer madness, where nothing can come close to the electricity of beating "the guy who knows all the moves" by closing your eyes and throwing the controller against the couch. Button-smashers are a thrill-a-minute, and I've had my fair share of weekends ruined and friendships dissolved. My main complaint is that playing a game like this is so inherently boring, you might as well have bought a book. It's best with buddies, no doubt, and the only way to truly enjoy the game these days is online, but that's nerd shit, so avoid it at all costs.

But Marvel vs. Capcom is still, by default, a winner in my eyes. I was never big into the arcade game, but watching people pound at the controls to have Magneto pile-drive Wolverine was incredible. I've always liked this game, and could easily bypass all the fighting-game prejudice and hesitation I've harbored up over the years. The line to play was always too long and the winners were intimidating, though, so I never actually manned up and joined in. Who wanted to throw in a pocket full of change just to be publicly beaten and humiliated? Enter the videogame series in the privacy of your own home...enter Marvel vs. Capcom on Playstation.

I missed the first two, but not this time 'round. I've never played it, so my chances are pretty rockin' these days. Since most copies of MVC are around one-hundred bucks, with the sequel clocking in at a good seventy new, forty used...yeah, uh, no.

But here I am, ready to jump back in! New zest for life, newly acquired weeks off to blow, new videogame purchased, etc. It's true, my love and excitement for gaming rises and falls every two months or so, and it's a well known fact that I rarely even open up half of the things I buy, but at least I opened this, and that's the first step to recovery.

So with that...I got the third version, and so far so good. Packaging is nice, the game itself looks alluring and the checkout person at Best Buy wasn't a cute girl, because anytime it's a cute girl I'm either buying toys or black mascara. It's for my girlfriend, I swear.


Videogames and I have had a longstanding affair throughout my formative years. I respect videogames, and videogames destroy my life. It's a complicated relationship. But no other pasttime has united and brought together friends and family like videogames. No other activity has formed and molded my dull mind, sparking intimate memories from childhood and teen years.

I can remember losing my shit over the NES. Gameboy was the Essence of Life and Nintendo Power Magazine was absolute law and rule. Super Nintendo was brought to existance, and Star Fox and Doom were now my Masters. I remember being lucky enough to rent a Playstation from the local Blockbuster, crippling my dreams with Resident Evil and showing me the light with Destruction Derby. It was all so unbelievably real looking. Everything changed in that instant, man. THE FUTURE WAS NOW.

Enter N64, enter Goldeneye, enter the void. Don't lie, we were all onsumed by Goldeneye. When I should have been caring about school, making friends and talking to girls, I played some Goddamn Goldeneye. Multiplayer with anyone I could wrangle into my room, not allowing anyone to leave until proximity mines were a permanent household word for you, your family and your co-workers. You know Oddjob? Remember multiplayer in the Facility level? And how you could secretly spin around in the bathroom stall to get sucked up into the air duct, offering you the best hideout and aggravating shooting point until someone threw a bag of grenades up there? I LOVED THAT.

PS2 evolved, Xbox was created, everyone was happy, we all love life. I slowly weaved in and out of videogames throughout the remainder of highschool, rather choosing a path of 18+ goth nightclubs and "sitting at Denny's until 2:00AM."

Well, here I am right now and the game is incredible. Yeah, all you do is jump around and kick people in the throat, but the colors and speed is just outstanding. The Soulcaliburs and Mortal Kombats of the world have displeased me, but this is the dawning of a new era, and I like it. I like it a lot.

I assume it's like the last two, but more three-dimensional and fuller looking. Gameplay is quick and easy, and despite my initial quick-to-point-out-how-boring-games-like-these-are, it really is fun to claw, stab, maim and kill a bunch of comic book shmucks. I've been bested. Also, it stands to show that any game that can make She-Hulk attractive is a game you gotta play. Nothing makes you feel more creeped out and confused than getting a semi over a manly, muscle-bound superhero chick. Speaking of The Hulk...

Seriously, zoom in on this shit:

I have no idea who's idea it was to turn The Hulk into the weirdest looking Hulk ever, but it's oddly welcome. I don't hate it. It instantly struck up conversation among friends and was one of the initial details that pushed me into purchasing. He's just so unique and alive. He's a cross between Moe from the Three Stooges and an eggplant. He's just so human looking, and I'll be damned if he doensn't have the prettiest set of teeth I ever did see.

Verdict = FUN! Best with friends, but not too bad on a day you decided to call into work. I much prefer the Grand Theft Autos and first-person shooters, but this is definitely worth it. Recommended. Now grab your chums, snag a six-pack and party hard.


  1. Dude, I read through that whole post and still haven't got a clue whether you liked the game or not. Your attention span will one day be the thing of legends!

  2. I thought it was gonna suck, I hate fighting games, button-smashers, etc...but it was cool!

    Yeah, I'm all over the place.

  3. Ugh, played that yesterday and got my ass kicked. I've retreated from video games for another few months as a result and cried myself to sleep.

  4. you forgot to mention how hilarious it is when you defeat Galactus with a magical dog.

  5. Andrew, every time I mention pop up. Are we of the same breed? Shut-in weirdos? Cool!

  6. I still have my original N64 with GoldenEye and like to bust that shit out and play sometimes.