I'm trying to save money.

How?

By eliminating all the junk in my life that I don't need.  Or at least for the time being.

What I'm trying to do is save up for a new guitar, a vintage guitar, a guitar to rule all other guitars.  If being in Flying Blanket Studios has taught me anything, it's that a vintage sounds from a vintage instrument is exactly what I've been missing, and acquiring a Gibson Les Paul from the 80's or earlier is, like...super important right fucking now.

Sucks they cost, like, super right fucking a lot.

So far, I've done everything I could to quickly raise money, which borders on the absurd and far-fetched.  I'm trying to sell some of my other guitars I don't use, but will not bother to post on Craigslist for fear of the Craigslist Killer stabbing me in a deserted parking lot.  I've made attempts to sell everything at a guitar shop willing to buy gear, but was quickly squashed when I figured out I had to talk to someone.  In person.

Now, I've organized all of my dusty and useless toys in a shot to stuff a box, neatly wrap up and sell to anyone willing to buy a lump of broken GI Joe's and porcelain Buddha statuettes.  I figure I'll go straight to the source, pawning off my treasures to Howard, our local buddy who dabbles in the distribution of used toys, comics and  ANYTHING, or maybe hock my wares online to the first five people daring to purchase a mystery bin of God-knows-what.  I'd sell a generous sized package for twenty bucks, sight unseen, filled with...whatever.

Sounds cool, right?

Turns out, I can't bear parting with my stuff, even if you did think my idea was somehow enticing.  It's a dump of dumb and archaic stuff ruining my ability to walk a straight line in my apartment, but it's my stuff. 

I've cut out my daily, useless spending, which ranges from impulse buys on Amazon to the eighteen cups of coffee at Starbucks.  I sometime even disgust myself.

This is all well and fine, and I but I'm starting to lose steam to generate quick cash.  You know when you get so hyped on something, and it seems like it's the only thing you can think about?  Haunting your thoughts, driving you into madness?  And then,out of no where, you just stop giving a shit?  Because I'm there.  I really don't give a shit anymore.

Determination is waning, excitement is dwindling.  I really, really wanna buy all the little things I like in place of the one, big thing I want.  I'm bad at saving, I know, but I'm worse at waiting.  How do normal people do this?

My only hope is to acknowledge that there is no hope.

...or is there?

ENTER:

To curve my cravings, I bought The Essential X-Men volume 1, a giant slab of twenty, black and white issues, all for the low price of twenty bucks.  In fact, it was used, and was only twelve.  By reading an issue a night, I won't be tempted to buy anything other than a guitar for at least two weeks.  It'll keep me grounded, focused and firmly placed into the 1970's X-Men Universe, where Wolverine smokes and Cyclops wears pirate boots.

What's the point of all this?  Do I really expect anyone to care?  Not in the slightest.  My only goal is to highlight the most offensively awful artwork ever committed to paper:

It's just so..."ughh."  I hate this style.  Colossus looks like a pile of rocks and Cyclops needs to be slapped.  Whipped up real quick, meticulously crafted art, who knows?  In my infinite absurdity, I even considered hiding it under my bed, never to be seen again just because the cover bothered me.  Never mind the eight-million pages in between, if I can't get past the front page, it's a no-go with moi.  I'll have to live with it, though.  I'LL HAVE TO GET OVER IT.

Which I did.  Unfortunately, my fussy, thought-out plan to save money went right into the toilet, because last weekend was the Phoenix Comicon.  Hundreds of vendors, hundreds of things to buy, hundreds of things I now own.

Why do I even bother?

See ya next week!