Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Chicken Goo.

For whatever reason, I've been enamored with chicken salad sandwiches.  The flavors, the design, the irreversible flaw of eating that weird tin of watery chicken.  Somewhere there is a question being asked, and it has been answered.

"Chicken salad sandwiches."

Amen.

Now, one of the reasons I like it so much is that it's delicious.  Plain and simple.  A potent mixture of canned chicken, celery, pecans, grapes and apples on toasted bread that will charm and delight.  Other people choose to add other ingredients, but I think I hit my "chopping up stuff into little pieces limit" with four.  I only have so much time to spare.

Besides the dangerous act of using a cutting knife (shit's sharp, yo!) another reason is that it's simple to make.  Well, relatively simple.  I've recently put myself into a routine of making a huge ton of some kind of food at the beginning of the week -- it saves time, effort and the stress of finding something to feed yourself from day to day.  Believe me, it's the ultimate in pre-planned laziness and zero desire to step outside of my consumption boundaries.  No joke, when we're not on the road and at home, I've been eating this junk for at least a month and a half straight.

I dub my creation, "Chicken Goo."


"Goo" because, well, it's of a goo nature, and nothing weirds people out like mentioning you ate a "goo" for dinner the night before.  I usually like to complete the meal with a side of Colby cheese and Triscuits, but that's neither here nor there.


Really looks like puke, am I right?  Unfortunately, that's all I've got to say on that.  A bucket of goo.  Resembling a bucket of vomit.  Which I love to eat.

MY GOD IT'S BEEN A SLOW WEEK.

5 comments:

  1. I've had the same addiction only to egg salad on toast.

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  2. WTF? I've never understood how people can put pecans in anything, especially chicken salad. Plus, the fruits? Gah. You and my wife, I don't see how you eat that stuff. Chicken salad is simple to make and is comprised of four (and only four!) items: Chicken (I like the near-liquified stuff myself, but do as you like), mayonnaise (Hellman's ONLY. Don't come near me with that shot-from-Satan's-dingle-dangle Miracle Whip nastiness), minced pickles and as much paprika as you prefer. On the off chance that you've been productive enough to boil and dice some eggs, those are the only acceptable addition to the Holy Quad. Any aberration from this will lead to ridicule on the internet.

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  3. Joshua, I disagree. But I also think that "shot from Satan's dingle dangle" was the best line I've read anywhere. So we're even.

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  4. Fair enough, good sir. A truce.

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