My Secret Admirer.

One of the best things about being in a band is getting stuff from fans.  Yeah, there's the self gratification and flourishing personal growth of creating music, sure, yeah, whatever.  But it's truly all about the free shit.  Of course, it's an honor, and totally appreciated on every level.  We write a few songs, act like a bunch of gorillas on stage and we're sent packages of cookies, coffee and the occasional love letter.  Well, I'm sent the occasional love letter.  The other guys don't have secret admirers, which is good and bad.  I can continually rub this into their faces for years to come, but at least they don't have to worry about someone shooting them in a a dark alley.

Speaking of such love letters and horrible violence:

My secret admirer sent me another package!  

If I'm sounding insincere and rude, it's absolutely unintended.  I just find it quite funny that after years of whining about and wanting a legitimate "stalker," I finally hit pay dirt and am now the proud owner of a potential murderer stalking me in the shadows.  Cool!

She sent me a knife.  A creepy, person-shaped knife.  My secret admirer rules!

Actually, this gal is really nice and goes to every single show we play in and around Phoenix, AZ.  I feel no embarrassment in writing this about her because she mentioned she didn't have Internet access, and I can only hope that she never stumbles across this blog.  Man, that would be weird.

I'm not making fun, Not-So-Secret Secret Admirer, I'm just pointing out how awesome this all is.  For one thing, it's fantastic to even have a secret admirer, and secondly, who wouldn't want various weaponry and tools of destruction bought in their name?  Along with the note (which is quite sweet and endearing) it was pointed out that the jab-stick was from Athens, Greece.  International shit right here, folks.  There's love in the air.  You can cut it with oh I'll shut up now.

Yes, it might get weird if photos of myself sleeping in my bed were sent with the knife, or a detailed layout of what I've eaten in the last three months, but for the time being, we're totally kosher.  Thank you, Secret Admirer.

Thank you.