Monday, March 11, 2013

Blue Beast Blue Beast Blue Beast.

Oh, my.

You're blue.  Very blue, actually.  If one were to categorize your physical features, one might consider you to be a little "too blue."  Your blue-ness is shocking.  It numbs the senses.  You're a bright, shining star in a sea of infinite, never ending darkness.  A sparkling jewel in a pit of a thousand black holes.  You are just fucking blue, man, and you are everything I need right now.


I can't explain the caps.  I can't explain the grunt.  There's no explanation for me to give on anything right now.  You're just gonna have to play along.  You're blue and beautiful.  Be loud, be proud.

Why are your eyes yellow?  Have they always been yellow?  Are you sick?  Don't mean to be rude, but it seems to throw off the blue.  I don't think I like it.  I like your belt, though.  Wear did you get it?  Abercrombie and Fitch?  Macy's?  That weird hip hop store?  Hot Topic?  I really hope not, 'cause I'm afraid of Hot Topic.  Too many tattoos, too many stretched earlobes.  I feel like an outsider, an outcast, a socially stunted...beast.


We're like one in the same.  But you're blue.  And I'm not.  So fucking jelly about that, man.

Why are you so blue? Wait, don't tell me. I don't need to know. I just need to feel. I want to eat you.  You look like candy.  You resemble a Jolly Rancher.  The blue one, of course.  You blue, Jolly Rancher, you.

What color is your blood?  Don't you dare say it ain't blue.  It must be blue.  It needs to be blue.  IT WILL BE BLUE.

Sorry for the weird photo angle.  It was quick and, sadly, outcome = odd.  So much crotch.  It's deafening.  At least your crotch-pouch is blue, too.  A different, darker blue, but blue just the same.  I wonder what you'd look like in blue jeans.  Would it still look like you weren't wearing any pants?  How do you get your thighs to be so big?  As a whole, your muscles are really quite extraordinary, if I may be blunt.

Do you like blue cheese?  Do you get the blues?  Do you blew your nose?

Mondays ruin me.  How's your Monday?  Mine sucks.



  1. Hmmmm....maybe he IS wearing jeans! Maybe he's just got his underwear on the outside of his jeans, 'cuz he sees that Superman and Batman do it, so why shouldn't he?

  2. Oh, Bobby. Things like this...yes, things like this are exactly why I love your blog. You brighten my days with your child-like antics. <3 Thanks man!!!