49397793 bottle caps

I have so many bottle caps.

A lot of bottle caps. What do I do with these bottle caps? They're beer bottle caps and there's a whole hell of a lot of them. Mexican, American, German, cheap domestics and douchey microbrews. Why is there so many? "What in the world have you been up to?"you ask. Well, you condescending jerk, don't assume this is all from, say, a week of collection. What makes you think I could do that? Drink that many, I mean. Well, what makes you think I can't drink that much beer in a week? What an asshole! GET OUT OF MY FACE

Wait wait wait. The cold, hard slap of reality has just hit. You've done this to me, you've opened my eyes. Is this my Swan Song? Are all these beer bottle caps the treasure map to my death? what have i done?! what does my liver look? did I really drink all this beer I take it all back I'll go start drinking water and pomegranite stuff and i'll do that juicing thinging everyone's into!!!

WAIT WAIT NO. This is a collection from the last year. Yes, that last year. In fact, I remember clearly now: the first bottle cap opened and saved was FROM AN EXACT YEAR AGO no that's not really true. I have no idea. But it's been a year. About a year. Give or take.

What do I do with these? I don't want to make beer bottle cap frames with hot glue. I once saw that online. It looked good but kind of cheesy. What about tying them up like popcorn on a string? How long would something like that take? What would I even do with a massive string of bottle caps, anyhow? Hang laundry? Hang laundry specifically cleaned because of beer spills? Yay or nay?

OH!

I got it! I know what to do! I can start "The World's Largest Beer Bottle Cap Collection!" Maybe even open a museum! Well, I'd hate for people to be near me so forget that last part. Don't they have online musuems? I can charge a dollar NO WAIT FIVE DOLLARS. With that kind of money I can get more beer! Which brings in more bottle caps! I'vce done it! I'VE DONE IT I'VE SOLVED IT!

yay tuesday