Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Me like the Goat-Man.

Me like monster heads. Me like wear rubbery constriction over nose and mouth. Me think is fun!

Me went to Bubbles of Joy, a Halloween goofy shop catering to goofs like me. It's no Spirit, but that's a good thing, because me think Spirit sucks. Way too many dumb clown things and evil babies. Me want something raw and powerful and furry.

Me found monster mask to end all monster masks. It be really spine-chilling and unnerving, and makes you question your belief in God. It's the greatest Halloween disguise in the world!

There be no love like the love I have for the Goat-Man:

Even me be scared! It's a shocking sight of teeth and horns and wet stuff covering outer layer of nose. Like Goat-Man sneezed and didn't wipe. Me understand that Goat-Man is busy, but hygiene and cleanliness is very important around my place. Number Three Rules in Me Apartment: wash hands after pooping, cover the mouth when you do the coughing and sanitize your entire body after eating at Subway. Me think Subway smells annoying.

Some might say the mask be overkill, but me say it's perfect Halloween trick to haunt little kids' brains while they sleep. I want to hurt people mentally and linger in their minds well past the season of the Halloween. Me just watched a lot of the Freddy Krueger movies, so me very excited by all this idea.

Time to put it on my head and become a part of the beast! Let the animal inside of me go wild and do the things that are crazy! Me be one with the Goat-Man!

Good to go! Halloween, here I come!

Me almost got nervous for beer -- it almost didn't make it into my mouth hole. Being super smart I found a way to doctor problem, as well as a way to spill half of bottle down my shirt. Goat-Man was not made for partying, only frightening the young and easily alarmed.

Me even got hairy gloves to seal the deal, but most people think they're me regular hands.

Me sweaty and hot and uncomfortable, but me have the face of Satan and things couldn't be better. Halloween do not suck this year! Halloween cool!

Yay Halloween that happened two days ago!


  1. That's just wicked. What could be more evil than a goat mask that lets you drink alcohol?

  2. And the horns double as used bottle holders! No need to visit the trash can until you've tossed back your third bottle.

  3. Ahh, you're right! There's infinite beauty with Goat-Man!

  4. VERY cool mask! I dig it! I hope The Goat Man will take his place as a fine on-stage prop for future Calabrese shows!!!

    Question though, was it cursed to make the wearer speak like The Hulk on crack? Just wondering. ;-)