It figures. You go through the trouble of buying fitted, road-worn blue jeans, a red bandanna in a chaotic, Halloween store and a belt that looks exactly like the one Bruce Springsteen is wearing on "Born in the USA," and people just think you're Peter Fonda from "Easy Rider."
I'm never dressing up for Halloween again.
Actually, it was a lot of fun. Usually, my go-to plan revolves around wearing a creepy monster mask that's either covered in blood or fur, so it was a nice change of pace to...you know, actually do something other than the Goat-Man. Or a space creature with goofy teeth. Or an ugly, fuzzy gorilla. Fuck, I should have went as the ugly, fuzzy gorilla.
I honestly thought the American flag was the obvious climax of the costume, the "piece de resistance" that tied it all together. I THOUGHT WRONG. I even dabbled in the idea of actually carrying a damn Bruce Springsteen record under my arm, but surely that would have been overkill, right? If only I had some motorcycle gloves and tinted sunglasses, I could have worn a two-for-one super-slam of a Halloween costume. Actually, as far as anyone is concerned, I was both musical celebrity and motorcyclin' bad-boy. And that's why this costume is better than yours! Complete costume 180!
Bobby Calabrese for the Halloween, 2012 win!