Friday, January 18, 2013

I Watch Too Many Movies.

What's your favorite movie? 

I can't answer this question.  There's too many to choose from.  Just last week, I was hell-bent on crime thrillers.  If there wasn't an impossible heist, somebody getting double crossed by an ex-lover or absolute rivers of palm-sweating suspense, I didn't want anything to do with it.  This week, I can only get into comedies.  I hate crime thrillers now.  I only watch comedies.  Always have, always will.

See?  It's impossible to answer that question.

I really do watch a lot of movies, though, but I don't think it's as crazy as one might think.  With the rise of Netflix, I've been given the opportunity to watch an outstanding amount of garbage and nonsense.  Specifically, the wonderful world of the "Instant Queue" feature.  Now, I sometimes get the feeling they really don't give a fuck what they put up.  But that's alright with me.  Sure, there's a few good things here and there, and a bunch of decent new releases pop up every other month, but it's all around a total pile of junk.  But that's fine.  I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  I think it's that I will gladly pay a measly, insignificant eight dollars a month for that junk.  You could sell me a pile of chewed up carrots in a dirty shoebox if it was cheap enough.

It seems that a lot of people watch TV shows on Netflix.  I think that's great, but it ain't my bag.  I hate the idea of committing to eight thousand episodes of Sons of Anarchy.  I'd rather watch a damn hour and half movie and be done with it.  So I plop down and watch a single movie once a night, whether it's total crap or cinematic bliss.  Ain't too bad, right?

I used to buy a lot of movies (still do) but it's definitely taken a dip.  Good for me, monetary wise, but I'll still snag the good stuff.  Netflix has certainly given me an opportunity to taste-test films before the big purchase, which I like, even though it's kinda like taste testing a turd to see if you wanna buy a whole dozen of them.  I know I'm being harsh, but c'mon.  There's a lot of filler.  Just admit.  You'll feel better.

I'm also a huge advocate in watching the stuff I've always wanted to watch, or have always been curious about, but wouldn't spend a dime to do so.  If anything, Netflix is GREAT for that reason alone.  Like, "The Good Son" with Macaulay Culkin, or "Cutthroat Island" starring Geena Davis.  Both came out when I was young, and have always been swimming around in the back of my mind for a decade and a half.  I've played out entire scenarios of what they could be about, given all the information from passing reviews and references in pop culture, but it will never be the same as actually watching it for myself.  Basically, I feel left out.

So, finally, with the help of Netflix's seemingly untold input of choices, I had the chance to see what dis shit was all about.  "The Good Son" was, surprisingly, pretty decent.  It held a definite suspense throughout, and had a genuinely creepy vibe, which, in part, I'm guessing was probably provided by Macaulay Culkin's outstandingly cherry-red lips.  Yikes!

"Cutthroat Island," on the other hand, was horrible.  Against everything anyone has ever said about this flick (that it's God-awful) I've always held such high hopes for this one, which, in part, is due to the promise of swashbuckling pirates and my odd crush on Geena Davis.  Double yikes!

I'm getting sidetracked, but...

When I was in high school, I hated watching movies.  I never liked going to the movie theater, and the idea of renting something from Blockbuster was outrageous.  It wasn't an outright hatred for movies themselves, but for the idea of sitting down and locking into one, singular thing for two hours.  It was maddening.  I just felt like there was something better to do with my time.  I have no idea what that was, but it was probably to go sulk in my room like a creep.

Of course, I'd watch horror movies.  It's inescapable.  "The Lost Boys" and "Near Dark" were both my go-to favorites, which helped me in neglecting human relationships outside of my house, as well as my pursuit to becoming a full out, bona fide vampire.  I think I talked about this before, but yeah.  Through endless viewings of bloodsucker flicks and a week long hibernation in a darkened bedroom, I really and truly tried to become a vampire.  It wasn't the best plan (all I did was block out the windows and hoped I grew some cool fangs) but at least I gave it a shot.  Unfortunately, it didn't work out.  I'm still mad about it.

Besides watching movies for pure entertainment, there's still a sliver of business about it.  When we first started Calabrese, I did what any fan of the Misfits would do and watched monster movies in an attempt to form a string of lyrics for the greatest horror punk song ever written.  I remember, on a few occasions, I'd hunker down in front of the TV with a guitar in my lap, watching anything by John Carpenter, just waiting and strumming and hoping for something magical to happen.  Can't say it didn't work entirely, but it certainly wasn't the path I was chosen for.  Too obvious, too forced.  Now, I gather most of anything I ever write about from creepy, Richard Laymon/Stephen King books and old, superhero comics, but when I see a film that hits me just the right way, I feel almost forced to write a tune about it.  I feel obliged.  Lyrics aside, if anything, I go for the vibe and the action and the pacing of the film, ya know?  I try to capture it in musical form, however that happens and whatever that actually means (there is no easy formula to follow, unfortunately) but I still go for it. I like the stuff that's more insane and ludicrous than the rest, though.  Action, action, action.  That being said, there is one hell of a hefty amount of references to Quentin Tarantino's work on DAYGLO NECROS.  Whoo boy.

What was the point of all this?  I don't know.  Maybe I just wanted to talk about movies.  Because I like movies. 

I watch too many movies. 


  1. I hear you brother, netflix canada sucks compared to your netflix so I'm still stuck with my movie buying obsession. but I've started to run into problems.... read my blog:
    also if you liked "the Good Son" try and find "the Bad Seed" and "the Children"

  2. Hey, I hear ya. Same goes for me with music. But I guess my only qualm is that if I'm going to pay for something, I want that damn something in my hand.

    Pirating sucks, but I guess that's the norm these days. Every movie that I spent an entire decade trying to track down can be easily downloaded or seen on Netflix. What a bummer! Ha!