What, what did ya get?
Oh, that's great! You really needed that, too. It's definitely gonna come in handy. And I always heard the life warranty on those things were fantastic. So that's great, yeah. Oh, what did I get? Well, not much, this and that...a few little things to tide me over into the new year.
JUST KIDDING I GOT A KEURIG COFFEE MAKER.
The greatest and quickest way to make a single cup of freshly brewed coffee. This is the Lazy Man's Brew. This is modern technology!
For years I've scoffed at the notion of a Keurig. Extra emphasis on the "eu" part, accentuating it's pretentiousness. Actually buying expensive little plastic cups to brew expensive little plastic coffee? Who do you think I am?
"It's ludicrous!" I'd shout. "It's wasteful and tacky and lame!" I'd proclaim. I've since succumbed to BIK (Believers in Keurig) because this is the best cup of coffee brewed in under forty-five seconds.
My mom has one, and I've always liked using it because you could make a single cup of Joe without the fuss and muss of grounding up beans or scooping out grounds from a tin can. AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON FILTERS. Unless you're using a French press or heating up water for instant, the whole damn thing is an exercise in exhibiting patience. Yeeeeah I'm literally over blowing the whole thing because it really doesn't take that long to warm up a standard pot of regular coffee. So then what the fuck is the point of a Kuerig?
Well, it is quicker, but it's also maddeningly convenient. You know how you waste a full pot of coffee when all you wanted was a single cup? Those days are gone, my friend. Sure, it's definitely more expensive and there's probably a lingering chemical taste in each serving (the whole thing is a boiling machine of hot plastic) but it's totally worth it. I'd assume this is great for single people or anyone who updates their Facebook with Bitsrips. Because you're probably single.
It's good stuff. It really did taste like burning plastic at first, but a dozen or so run-throughs and the stank is nearly non-existent. Hell, I use so much half-and-half it really doesn't even matter what I'm drinking.
The only negative is strictly ridiculous and of my own accord. I suppose I like the sight and smell of a Mr. Coffee drip. A steaming pot of coffee is just so classic and vintage it reminds me of movies that take place in police stations and drunken late night trips to Dunkin' Donuts. You don't get that with a Keuring. But it's still cool. Like, really cool. This was a good Christmas. I love Christmas.
See you next year!