Saturday, October 24, 2009

Pumpkin Spice Latte at Starbucks. Forgive me, for I have sinned.

I know, I know. I'm not a fan of Starbucks, with it's overpriced coffee and it's massive, global domination, but sometimes you gotta break the rules. Sometimes the rules need a breakin' when you're in desperate need of a cup of joe, or about to have your bladder explode unless you find a bathroom quick. And those rules are especially made to be broken when that means you can guzzle down pumpkin flavored, sugary coffee juice! Plus, the Starbucks was conveniently located, and I really needed a new blog entry. Ha!

When I heard there was an exclusive, special, October-only coffee to be had, I nearly shit myself. Probably because I was drinking coffee at the time. Natural laxative, y'know? But that's besides the point.

Honestly, I'm still not sure if this is an exclusive, month long deal, but if it's anything like a McDonald's Shamrock Shake and all the joy it brings, I'm game.

Game on!

Apparently, the pumpkin-y flavor explosion comes in the form of a latte. I was really hoping that it was merely a pumpkin infused roast, but I'll fight back the tears and tread forward. Not saying I'm not into lattes, but they come too close to my rule of never drinking overtly, sugary coffee drinks. No, I have no idea if lattes are all that sugary, but yes, this is my way of choosing sides in the burgeoning coffee war. Do we really need our coffee to taste like cake? Does it need (with a generous helping of whip cream) to look like cake? I get it, it's some delicious shit, but it ain't coffee. It's a death bomb of pricey bullshit! It's evil! Revolt! Revolt, I say!

Naw, it's cool. Just keep the muffin batter liquid to a minimum, y'know?

Anyways, I headed over to the counter with one goal in mind: to drink highly caffeinated Halloween. Just suck in the pure essence of the holiday. I want ghosts to fly from my mouth, or a green, Halloween-themed slime to drip from my pores. That would be cool!

Turns's pretty good. But anything tastes great covered in sugar, and assuming you're into something that excells into tasting like an extreme version of pumpkin. Like, if pumpkin tasted like eighteen pumpkins thrown into a blender and sprinkled with coffee grinds. I can't say I'd drink it all the time, but it does it's job in brightening my Samhain spirit, as well as my blood to caffeine ratio.

The only thing I'd recommend is that Starbucks jazzed up their cups a bit, to really drive it home. Getting a bit festive with their holiday drink wouldn't hurt, would it? Personally, I'd suggest, with every order, a tiny pumpkin atop it's lid. Simple, obviously themed accurately and the easiest, quickest thing I could find on my desk to take a picture of. Yeah, my desk is covered in mini-pumpkins. You got a problem with that?

Overall, it's good times. I actually couldn't finish drinking it, so when I was pouring the neglected, last few ounces down the drain, I noticed it's dark, powerfully orange hue. The drink is orange colored! I really wish I took a picture of it, but ah well, I'm sure you'll still love me as much as I love consuming basketball colored java.

S-bucks Pumpkin Spice Latte = B!

Now I gotta try Dunkin Donuts' version!


  1. We don't get flavoured coffee's over here in the uk, well there was one time I saw dark cherry flavoured coffee, it smelled like rotten ass. So I don't think they carried on with it.

  2. Maybe it's just a personal bias, since I used to work for Seattle's Best, but I hate the Pumpkin Spice latte. It's just too sickly sweet for my tastes.

  3. I used to get those for free at my old job to the point that I got sick of them. I miss them now. God, I hate myself.

  4. You can get the syrup in a regular cup of coffee, and damn near everything else they offer. I know this, I worked there for nearly 2 years.

    -Ian Infection

  5. Hey, just letting you know that Calabrese is my featured band on my blog today (I'm doing a whole "Sounds of the Season" thing on bands to listen to at your Halloween party). Pop on by when you get the chance!

  6. did you see the sweet skull candy holders starbucks had there? if you liked the goodies at target, you would have gone wild for these. it's like using poor yorick's skull to hold tasty treats.